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 In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)

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Sivus Grahn
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PostSubject: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Mon Jun 20, 2016 12:36 pm

Rose, the rogue cannibalistic X-parasite for those who didn't read any of "Dead Planet special edition remix" (or whatever it was called), sits calmly in a seedy little establishment with surprisingly nice lighting and company for a place that can genuinely be described as "seedy", an "old-style" glass in her beautiful little (well, not really little) hand, filled with whisky on the rocks almost to the lip. It was obvious she was heavily into the drinking, but she still managed to have an air of class and distinction somehow despite the glass indicating something more akin to the town drunk trying to act civilized for his first glass. Her form today was the same one she wore almost every day she came here, to this little watering hole in a nook in a cranny on Daiban (the Galactic Federation capital by most judgement, though it almost never saw any action despite, or maybe because of, that), that is, she looked like Samus Aran. Except she had red/purple eyes, black hair that was let down and reached well past her ass, more pronounced curves (D-cup breasts and larger hips and posterior), was a good three inches taller than Samus (and had a bit more width, though it looked tight on her), and wore a tasteful snow-white silk dress that went down past her knees almost to her ankles (which were covered by a pair of white combat boots of all things). In short, she had a bit of weird to her, but looked like Samus. Which wasn't really something the real thing appreciated, especially knowing that this look-alike was an X-parasite mimicking her form. I suppose that's probably why, when Samus walked into the bar in a nook in a cranny in an alley down an off road in a lesser known part of town in the capital city on Daiban, she was none too happy with Rose, and the first thing she did after walking in (wearing just a pair of strange blue boots, a pair of blue shorts, and what looked like a blue sports bra with a strange design on it that covered a bit more, both seemingly made of the same material as the boots), was pull out her Federation issued Paralyzer emergency pistol and put it directly to Rose's head with an audible click as she started the auto-charging sequence. "Shit. There goes the bar." was all that Rose could think as THE Samus Aran pointed a gun at her head as though it was the most natural thing in the world. "Now, I know what you're thinking, 'should I blow her head off with my Paralyzer or not?', and the answer..may surprise you." *kaclick*. "Um...surrender?" *Barrel cycling sound* "Um...um. ...Aw, damnit! Couldn't you at least take this outside first? I like it here. Please don't kill my favorite bar." "..." Samus looks almost surprised at the "begging", and pulls the gun away from Rose's head, pointing it at the ceiling as she holds her arm with the forearm pointed up with the hand, and the upper arm being almost flat against her body. "Alright, you've got about ten seconds to explain why I shouldn't splatter you against the wall and get myself a drink afterwards." Rose turns around on the rotating bar-stool, looking Samus dead in the eyes, and says with the most serious voice ever "Because they don't like violence here, and won't serve or even allow anyone who hurts or almost hurts another patron inside. So you would never be allowed in this bar again, no matter what I am shown to be. And, they already know what I am, and they're cool with me being here Sammy, so just...please let me enjoy my delightful drinking in peace? Please?" Throughout all of this, some cute/hot/sexy POA is watching from a nearby stool against the bar, a pint of Guinness in hand, real Guinness, that they make in shop. She looks at the two almost-sisters like they're damn near crazy, finally speaking up as Rose finishes her statement about the bar not serving violent customers/potential customers, saying "Come on you two, why not just get along? Your sisterly fighting can't be that important, right?" ...It's around then that both Samus and her almost twin look at the stranger, eyes almost wide, and say in tandem "I am NOT her sister!" while pointing to each other with the hand farther from their gag-partner. They then look at each other while the girl/lady looks at them disbelievingly, before she says "Yeaah, right. Not sisters, cause people who aren't sisters can be on such the same wavelength that they do that. Sure." ..Samus is the first to speak up, with "'She' is a parasitic organism that ATE and COPIED my DNA to replicate my form, we are NOT sisters, nor could we ever be anything other than mortal enemies." "Awww. Come on, I like you, why can't we be friends? It's not like I'm violent. Or is that why we can't be friends? Please be my friend, I even tried to give you your suit parts back when we first met, but you shot at me! Now I don't know WHAT happened to them, they're gods only know where at this point. Really hope they don't end up on the black market or a Pirate research vessel." Rose shoots back. "Wait, you had and LOST the parts to my SUIT?!" ...Samus doesn't seem too happy, so I think this is probably a good place to leave off, with one final word in edgewise. "I really don't see what the problem is, as long as what you're talking about isn't her losing the pieces that outfit is missing."

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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Mon Jun 20, 2016 12:58 pm

Slyix landed his ship outside a bar on the planet Daiban, for probably the first time in a long time, he stepped out of his ship with no mission, no goal. And he couldn't be happier about that. For once he left his ship without wearing his power amour, instead he wore more casual clothes.
Upon entering he went straight to the bar, "Give me a bottle of your strongest stuff," Slyix said throwing some money onto the bar. The bartender returned with a bottle of booze, a shot glass, and a pitcher of Ice. Slyix stared at the Ice, "No Ice," he said, the bartender then walked away with the pitcher as Slyix poured and gulped his first shot of the evening. He then looked over everyone in the bar, for any girls to hit on or guys to fist fight with. Half way through his glance of the bar he poored another shot.
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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Mon Jun 20, 2016 10:15 pm

Rose looks over as the stranger walks into her bar, her eyes widening in relief as she says "Oh look! Literally anything else to talk about!" before rushing over to Slyix and sitting down on the bar stool next to him, counting on Samus to not be willing to shoot her right next to someone (not that the shot itself would really do much anyway, but it would still hurt like a bitch and destroy her current body for a time). As she sits down, Rose looks at her bar neighbor and says "Nice to meet you, I haven't seen you around before, are you new?" talking like the intro character for some dating sim in order to have as good a chance as possible to not have a Paralyzer toting Samus breathing down her neck with intent to kill. No such luck sadly, as Samus walks over unabashedly and grabs Rose by the left shoulder, saying "Ohhhhoh no, don't think you can get out of this. What did you do with my suit?! That was a gift from the last family I had, I am not going to let you just leave this at "I lost it" and be done with it, you are telling me where, when, how and why dammit!" Rose looks back to her virtual twin, looking her dead in the eye and saying "I lost what I had because you attacked me without warning and made me run for my life, I wasn't keeping track of the whereabouts of my assailant's shit! You brought it on yourself by shooting first and asking questions never, you should have thought about why I was coming at you slowly, with your suit in both of my hands, with nothing to protect myself instead of just shooting at me, maybe then we wouldn't have to be having this conversation, at least not so heatedly!" Standing up and nearly shouting down at Samus by the end of it.

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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Tue Jun 21, 2016 11:33 pm

Slyix stared as he didn't quite under stand what just happened, and was that, no, it couldn't be, but could it? He look at the bottle he was holding, thinking "This stuff must be stronger than I thought,", he then looked up at the person shouting, and it happened to be the girl who sat at the bar and got yanked away.

Slyix got up and walked over, "Ladies, Ladies, No need to shout. Just grab a few drinks," he said pooring the two a couple drinks from his bottle, "And talk it out. Now what's the problem going on between you two sisters."
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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 3:47 am

As Samus angrily says "How many times do I have to say "she is not my sister" before people get the idea?!", rose is downing both glasses of alcohol, holding them tightly (well, the liquid in them anyway) in her mouth (with surprisingly little cheek bulge), before she grabs samus by the face (by the cheeks actually, using one hand on either side) and kisses her "passionately", forcing the delicious booze into her mouth and down her throat (by her own bodily reflex, but still). "What the hell did you do that for?!" Samus half shouts as she pushes Rose away and wipes her mouth using her forearm, spitting to try and get the feeling of the pseudo-imposter's lips and tongue off of hers. "Because you need to calm down, and I have your constitution, you're a happy drunk. If a bit...Well, torched seeming." Rose answers. Her actions have earned her and Samus many lustful gazes, along with more than their fare share of hooting and hollering, more than one person saying stuff along the lines of "Why did you stop?" and "Kiss her again!"

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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 6:03 am

"Well, excuuuuuuse Me Princess, No need to get your panties in a bunch just because you two look a like," Slyix said as he chugged a little from his bottle. He than Choked a bit as Rose grabbed Samus and proceeded to 'kiss' her. "Didn't see that comming," he said.

When everyone started shouting for them to 'kiss' again Slyix took out a pistol he brought in and unloaded the clip he had into the ceiling. "Leave them alone, get back to your own business, I have another clip for any pervs who want to shout for more,"
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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 8:11 am

When Slyix decides to unload a clip from his pistol and threatens bodily harm to anyone who says for them to kiss again, the bartender levels a military grade missile buckshot shotgun (sawn-off style) at his head, with a "You threaten hurt on a customer again, get tossed out. You follow through on that threat of yours, I blow your head off with this missile blaster shotgun, are we clear?" It's around then that Rose tells Slyix "It's okay, really. I don't mind it, and soon, she isn't going to either. Oh, and, um..."Sisters" isn't quite exact when describing us. Right now it would be more like "Twins" or "Clones", with me being the younger one." under her breath, quiet enough that Samus doesn't hear. Samus meanwhile, is sitting down as the alcohol she just swallowed begins passing through her bloodstream and into her brain. "And on that note, barkeep! More booze!" to which he grabs a bottle of scotch and plunks it down on the table in front of her. He had been dealing with Rose long enough to know that when she said "More booze!" it usually meant "Grab me a bottle of whatever you suggest". Rose looks at the bottle as he sets it down, offering a silent "I'm sorry" to it, before grabbing and uncapping the unopened bottle of finely aged whiskey (Scotch is a type of whiskey last I checked), chugging a mouthful, and then passing it to Samus as before. Ralia, meanwhile, has been staring at this whole thing thinking something similar to the human phrase "Dinner and a show" as these strange/comedic goings on occur. For Samus and Rose, it only takes about ten minutes before Rose has passed the entire fifth of Scotch to Samus mouth to mouth. The male and lesbian customers, throughout the occurrence, are cheering for the apparent couple (no one had yet heard their arguing, and the kissing/mouth-to-mouth drink passing covered up the gun incident in their minds) as they kiss and share a bottle (Well, everyone thinks they share, meanwhile, Rose didn't get a drop in her).

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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 8:23 am

Slyix put his hands up when the bartender aims at his. "I get your groove, my other clip is full of blanks, but I won't fire anyway."

Slyix then puts his hands down and picks back up his bottle and listens as Rose talks. He then turns his head the other way in confusion when he hears Rose say "Or Clones" He then shakes his head and takes a sip from his bottle, deciding to not try and figure out what she ment.

Slyix watched the two drink down the booze, as he slowly sipped his, not wanting to pay for another bottle yet. Then he remembered why he came to this 'odd' pair of girls in the first place.

"So you never told me what you two 'LADIES' were fighting about." Slyix said putting a lot of emphasis on the word ladies.


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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 8:25 am

(UGH! You added stuff, i'm going to get to adding to mine to make it fit.)
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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 8:34 am

By this point Samus is entirely and completely drunk, a slight smile on her face (due to certain pseudo-aphrodisiacal chemicals in Rose's saliva, combined with the inhibition busting alcohol) as she hiccups and slumps a little in her seat, recovering from the massive amount of lip-locking she just did, along with the alcohol itself. When Slyix asks what they were fighting about, and calls them ladies, Rose responds "Well, first off, I wouldn't call either of us "ladies" really. We're both girls, don't get me wrong all the parts are there, but neither of us really have any ladylike attributes other than gender. And as for the fighting, I wouldn't call it fighting exactly on my end, more venting over something that happened several years ago...or maybe months, the days have kind of blurred together since I don't really sleep and I do the same stuff every day. SHE was trying to fight with me over something of hers I found of hers that I lost when certain...things happened."

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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 8:45 am

Slyix sighs, "Are you two ever satisfied, I call you sisters, but that doesn't work, I call you ladies, and that doesn't work. So, how about we fix this and introduce each other since we never did, You can call me Slyix."
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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 8:49 am

"That's an interesting name. I've got to confess, the one I go by is so much more boring. I'm called Rose by most people these days. And this here" She says, indicating Samus "Is Samantha. We don't...Well, she doesn't know me very well, but I know just about everything there is to know about her." Rose finishes. "Now, what should we do now that my (hopefully sometime soon) friend is all but passed out?" She asks. Someone in the "crowd" volunteers "Let's all play that old Earth game "Spin the bottle"!"

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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 8:59 am

Slyix though to himself " So it was just the booze making me think it was the hunter,"

He then shouted in reply to those saying to play spin the bottle, "What a great Idea!" He then gulped down the rest of what was in his bottle and tossed the empty bottle onto the table, he then flopped into a chair, clearly showing that the alcohol had kicked in.
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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 9:10 am

Ralia, the aforementioned hot POA, says "I'll get in on this, what're the rules?" Rose says "Well, someone spins the bottle, and then something happens, either the person it's nearest to pointing to does some predetermined action, or something is done to that person, or they get dared to do something decided then and there, or...um, what was the last one?" "Some shit goes down, usually around whoever the bottle "Lands" on, I.E, points at." a helpful patron of the bar simplifies. "Yeah, about that." Rose affirms. "Cool, let me in on that shit." Ralia responds. "Alright Sammy, let's get you up for this." Rose says as she hauls a barely conscious, roaring drunk Samus to her feet by one arm. "You know *HIC* I don't really think you're that bad looking back on *HIC* things." Samus says with a slight drunken slur and a goofy drunk grin on her face. Meanwhile, a large group of people have placed chairs around the circular table the bottle that had contained Slyix's drink now rested upon, doing things like "Rock, Paper, Scissors" (and various variations of it), or "look the other way", and the like in order to determine who got to (or had to) sit first. When everyone was seated, they chose (by majority vote) that it would be the old party game "Dare" option, with the added penalty that if you couldn't do the dare (or refused) you had to strip an article of clothing off.

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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 9:21 am

Slyix watched as everyone got sat down and decided how they were going to play. When it was decided that it was going to be the old fashioned dare style of play Slyix said "I believe thats something everyone can enjoy," Slyix then turned to the bartender, "Another Bottle," he said handing him cash. "So, who is going to get this game started."


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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 9:24 am

(...Please, I request (genuinely, I'm actually requesting you do this), read the "Rules" section. I believe it would be under "Roleplay rules" or "General Rules" most likely. If not, please read some more of them, but there is something pertaining to the way you wrote that post. Or I guess "its content" would be more accurate.)

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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 9:37 am

(So I reread the rules, and I'M asuming your trying to point me to the thing about one liners. Am I correct?)
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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 9:41 am

(Yeah. I kind of agree with the rules on that one. Most specifically, the way it's described. I mean, I kind of understand if there's just not much to work with or be said, but even then I almost always manage a minimum of two lines. And in this case, I haven't been giving very little to go off of. I'm not mad or anything, it's just kind of...I dunno, disappointing I guess? ...No, not exactly. Umm...I don't know. "It leaves something to be desired" is about the best way I can put it, though that may be because I'm getting tired and "braindead".)

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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 9:45 am

(I added some)
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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 9:53 am

(Thanks much.)
"I think I'll start." Ralia says, putting her hand on the bottle, before inevitably wondering "Just how to I spin it for it to land on someone?" ..It only takes about ten seconds before someone says "Maybe I should start, huh?" and taking up the bottle, setting it on its side and spinning it the old fashioned way. He gets a good spin on the bottle that had contained booze just minutes before, and it continues spinning for a good solid minute and a half before slowing down to a stop facing a fairly attractive blond lady with hair down to her shoulders, green eyes, and full lips (with a upper C cup breast size, a thin waist, and wide-ish child-bearing hips). "Alright pretty lady, I dare you to~~~...Jump up and down really quickly." He says, starting off with something simple (if slightly perverted). "Oi...fine. Here goes." the lady says, getting up from her seat and bouncing up and down quickly, causing her breasts to bounce up and down with her in time to her short hops.

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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 9:57 am

Slyix sighs at the perverted dare, "I haven't played this in quite sometime, how do we decide who spins next? I think it should be whoever it lands on spins next." Slyix says with his memory getting a bit foggy due to the alcohol.
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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 10:08 am

"Yeah, that's one variation. There's also the clockwise variation, and the similar counterclockwise one. Then the various random chance options, and" "JUST GO WITH THE BOTTLE LAND ONE." on patron cuts in on Rose's educational speech. Given that she had experienced the game on Earth on occasion, back when it was first conceptualized, or around then, it somewhat made sense that she wanted to tell people about it. The people weren't so willing to listen it seems however, and it was decided that they would go with Slyix's suggestion to have the person the bottle lands on spin it next. With that decided, the young lady grabs the bottle and gives it a powerful spin, lasting a full minute longer than her predecessor, before it finally landed on Slyix himself. "Alright party boy, I dare you to take off your shirt and rub do~~wn...Him." She says, pointing to a particularly burly, though handsome, customer. The customer winks at Slyix flirtatiously, apparently liking the idea.
(well, that's going to be my last post for the night, I'm getting some shuteye. Hopefully I'll see that character I sent you approved (or at least commented on) in the morning by CZ.)

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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 10:42 am

Slyix then takes off his shirt and leans back, showing that he refuses. Everyone at the table booed at him and he responsed by saying "I'm doing your perverted dares," He said spinning the bottle, the went around the longest before landing on Rose. Then most of the people sitting down began to chant "Kiss, Kiss, Kiss" pointing to who Slyix knew as Samatha,
"No! You've seen enough of that, " Slyix shouted causing everyone to boo at him more. "I got a real dare," He then slid a little computer pad at Rose, it had a Federation Login Screen on it. "I dare you to login to the hunt- er... I mean Samus Aran's Federation Profile with less than three mistakes, as in failed attempts. If you get in change the 'Last GF ship boarded' section to GFS Olympus 1 minute ago." Slyix then snickered thinking "Either she will fail and Strip a thing off and get the crowd to shut up, or I will get a good laugh."
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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 8:22 pm

Rose looks at Slyix for a good several seconds, before picking up the handheld(?) computer and logging in immediately, quickly passing through various sections and hacking deeper into the federation computers, changing fourteen different aspects regarding Samus Aran in their files, as well as planting a nasty (but ultimately harmless) little bug in their system.

1st. Changed Samus Aran's last boarded vessel to the GFS Olympus, timed at 1 minute ago
2nd. Changed marital status to "Married, joined with a clone of herself"
3rd. Changed vital status to "Dead, as of 3 months ago by cardiac arrest, causes unknown"
4th. Changed her name entry to "Seamus of the Isles"
5th. Put three Aurora Units under her private ownership
6th. Changed her gender to "Male, preparing for newhalf treatments" (male, preparing to undergo sex-change to female)
7th. Notarized in her history that she spent several months as a "comfort class" unit in the military
8th. Removed all traces of the bounty on her head
9th. Removed the destruction of the BSL station from her record, and transferred it to a "nameless" soldier in the marine corp
10th. Changed eye and hair color to "white"
11th. Changed the identifying picture to that of the famous body builder from Earth (well, famous in Earth's twentieth and twenty first centuries) Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime
12th.  Provided three different cemeteries that she was supposedly buried whole at, fifteen different cremation parlors where she was fired at, and a black-hole she was supposedly dumped into
13th. Changed her date of birth to the 1st of the 1st year of the cosmic calendar (metroid 1 happened in 20X5 of the cosmic calendar)
14th. Put the GFS Olympus down as a ship registered to Samus Aran (Seamus of the Isles), along with three other high class GFS warships.

When Rose has finished with her rather extensive prank (made obvious as such by all the conflicting information, leaving the people who deal with this stuff to change it back) she passes the computer pad back to Slyix, saying "You made it too easy at first, so I took some liberties and added a few things." Before spinning the bottle herself. Samus, by this point, is already beginning to sober up slightly (seeing as her Chozo DNA makes her metabolism run much quicker, causing Alcohol to be converted sooner), and has begun to regain bodily function, though she is still flat out drunk. At least now she can move and act on her own will power, right?

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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   Wed Jun 22, 2016 11:45 pm

Slyix leans back and starts to drink. He stops and sits up quickly when he hears the handheld make a ding, to signal a correct login. "No way" He mutters to himself so quietly that probably no one could hear him let alone under stand him. A successful login on the first try, not possible, either Rose just got extremely lucky, or there is something fishy going on. Slyix decides to go with the first thing so that he can get back to relaxing.

He then proceeds to watch Rose go over board with the profIle changing. The GFS Olympus and probably a few other Federation places are probably in utter Choas as they try to fix the profile and check if anything changed is true.

Then when Rose said "You made it too easy at first, so I took some liberties and added a few things." Slyix thought to himself "It was easy for you Because you weren't supposed to get in on the first try."
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PostSubject: Re: In a bar, on Daiban (an ACTUAL bar topic, YAY!)   

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