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 Espera Nota, Hero of The War

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Cizin

Cizin

Posts : 103
Join date : 2010-10-03
Age : 24
Location : Beyond the void of space

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PostSubject: Re: Espera Nota, Hero of The War   Espera Nota, Hero of The War - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSun May 24, 2015 2:38 am

My main issue is that you really need to separate the paragraphs somewhat more. The wall of text is rather hard to read.
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Sivus Grahn
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Sivus Grahn

Posts : 4587
Join date : 2010-12-13
Age : 21
Location : the E.S.S Niflheim, conducting experiments on...Volunteers

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PostSubject: Re: Espera Nota, Hero of The War   Espera Nota, Hero of The War - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSun May 24, 2015 2:53 am

That was just my writing style for characters back then. In fact, I only changed because Toasty wouldn't approve a character if it was organized to her standards (instead of going by the internal facts of the character, such as power held. I got a ridiculously overpowered character through that. Check out Lost (Legacy Era) if you want to see what I mean (Bob Batshit and ...wraith something or something wraith present the other portions of her ridiculousness with character approvals.)

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Sivus Grahn
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Sivus Grahn

Posts : 4587
Join date : 2010-12-13
Age : 21
Location : the E.S.S Niflheim, conducting experiments on...Volunteers

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PostSubject: Re: Espera Nota, Hero of The War   Espera Nota, Hero of The War - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSun May 31, 2015 7:41 am

wow. changes. lots of changes. and yet, nothing actually changed. how dull.

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(SUFFER!)
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PostSubject: Re: Espera Nota, Hero of The War   Espera Nota, Hero of The War - Page 2 Icon_minitime

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